Chapter 11


Hayley wasn’t sure if she was becoming more accustomed to being an Exile or if it was just her own mind’s way of coming to terms with the reality of her situation, but in the month she’d been in exile she was becoming more emotionally detached with each passing day. While she still suffered from intense bouts of depression, she wasn’t crying nearly as much as she had in the first few weeks. It was as if something inside of her had just said ‘this is your life now, deal with it’. Things still didn’t feel ‘normal’, there was still a kind of surreal element to her situation, but at the very least she was getting used to the routines. The maintenance cycles, the loneliness, the maintenance cycles, the brooding, and then at the end of the week, all of her various indiscretions were tallied like a bar tab and she was billed. Only she’d be paying that tab with time. Fortunately, it’d become easy for her to avoid trouble. She’d found an isolated spot about a kilometer west of the New Athens arcology near a sprawling industrial facility built partially in the large body of water known as Vega Bay. The facility was a water purification plant- designed to intake and process freshwater from the bay, getting rid of any of the alien pathogens and bacteria and then sending it off to the arcologies. The facility itself was almost like an arcology itself, though smaller, and apparently almost entirely automated. To Hayley’s fortune, that meant there were few people around.

While she couldn’t exactly get inside the plant, there was plenty of junk surrounding the facility she could make a small dwelling out of. Building materials, discarded vehicles, old steel crates and barrels and other trash had become her treasure. After scavenging for several hours one afternoon while it rained, she’d come across a godsend...a mattress. Though soiled from months of being exposed to the elements, and probably smelling something fierce, she dragged the thin army-cot style mattress to the small shelter she’d built herself on the edge of the debris field on the grasses. The shelter consisted of a number of barrels lined up next to and across of each other, a roof made from the flip-open top of a number of steel crates, and a door made from a wooden loading skid, which she simply slid over the opening when she wanted privacy. Further, she’d managed to find a little bit of insulation from some of the abandoned vehicles- what little upholstery remained that hadn’t already been torn out she’d used to pad the ground. But now was the pièce de résistance: her very own bed!

She noticed a number of Exiles watching her as she dragged the mattress out of the junkyard, probably envious of her find. One of them, a very well toned woman, seemed to be taking a particular interest in Hayley’s handiwork as she adjusted the dimensions of her shelter, moving the barrels around so the opening would permit the mattress’s width. As she stuffed the mattress in, Hayley glanced up at other Exile who simply stood there like a mannequin with her arms down at her side. Unsure of what she was looking at, Hayley decided to just ignore her for the moment and test out her new bed.

Though it was dirty, lumpy and soggy, it felt great. It was the first time in this whole god-awful mess that the young singer actually felt herself smile. It was such a small thing, but this little piece of civilization actually made her feel human again for the first time in over a month. She allowed herself to relax, closed her eyes and was soon asleep. Sleep didn’t last long however, as the Warden soon came calling.

"Maintenance notification. Proceed immediately to nearest Maintenance bay. You have thirty minutes to comply before you are subject to protocol violation."

Groaning, Hayley sat up within the small, primitive shed and crawled out. The skies were dark by then, but fortunately the rain had stopped. As she climbed to her feet, Hayley spotted the same female Exile that had been staring at her still where she’d been over four hours ago about twenty feet away, though now sitting. Perhaps the woman just had nothing better to do with her time. It wasn’t as if any of them really had anything to do with their time. Shrugging, she turned away from the woman and headed off for the Maintenance station located a short ten-minute walk away. Much to her own surprise, she was walking with a bit of a spring in her step that evening. Finding that bed had buoyed her spirits like she hadn’t thought possible. Arriving at the Maintenance station, she found it, as usual, crowded. They all seemed to be like this near the arcologies, Exiles in and out of them constantly. She’d done the math in her head. Given there was in excess of 12,000 Exiles (she put the figure around 12,500) and 50 maintenance stations located through the Republic, it meant for every station there were 250 Exiles. At the same time, with 22 hours in the day, and at two Maintenance cycles per 22 hour period, it mean that on average there should have only ever been around 5 Exiles in a maintenance bay at a given time. That was assuming of course Maintenance cycles occurred every hour on the hour. And with 12 alcoves per bay, Hayley couldn’t understand why the ones ‘downtown’ always seemed crowded.

The concentration of Exiles, she figured, must have been considerably higher around the arcologies than they were in the wilderness. Likely there were maintenance stations going totally unused out there.

Fortunately, Warden seemed able to determine the average length of time it would take for her to get in and use the facilities and varied the time depending on how many Exiles were already inside. Six minutes was the minimum amount of time one had. While in lineups, that number usually jumped to about twelve minutes. Once she’d been given thirty minutes, and still she had to rush to get out. The stations immediately around the arcologies were the worst she found. Not in terms of condition- they all looked identical both inside and out, but just in terms of volume. This one was a few kilometers outside of the perimeter. Still busy, but nowhere near as bad as those within.

She’d been given a twelve-minute grace period. The line moved in regular two minute intervals, the doors never opening to allow more than 12 people inside at a time. Once twelve individual Exiles were recognized as being inside, the sliding door shut, and wouldn’t open again until someone came out. Still, Hayley liked the system here better than some regular public bathrooms. Here people had a limited time...there was no dawdling. And since waste extraction and nutrient insertion was a completely automated process, it wasn’t like there was any need to dawdle. Hayley was in and out within four minutes. She’d gotten so used to the sensation of the tubes going into her body that, while they still gave her a mild euphoria, she was able to retain enough self control after the fact that she didn’t orgasm as she had the first few times through. Unfortunately, it did leave her feeling frustrating after the fact. She’d tried on numerous occasions to pleasure herself later, but with zero effect. The dual layered suit so completely buffered any sensation she could only ever feel a mild pressure on the areas she touched herself. There was no friction, no sensation of ‘touch’. It was like trying to pleasure herself with a feather duster while her body was under anesthesia. Even her breasts didn’t respond to physical touch. Her nipples were completely flattened under the suit. She couldn’t even pinch herself anywhere, as the material slid against its own surface like grease. It was frustrating to say the least. Even in their darkest days, most prisoners could always turn to masturbation as a form of release. She didn’t even have that!

So the maintenance cycle was about all she had. She’d initially wondered why the woman she’d seen that first day seemed to be enjoying herself so much while undergoing maintenance...now she knew. As Hayley wandered back to her shelter, she thought perhaps she should follow the example. Despite the perversion of it all, it did at least feel good in a way. And so what if other Exiles saw? It wasn’t as if they knew who she was. And even if they did, who were they going to tell?

Nearing the makeshift shelter, Hayley was abruptly jolted by the onset of her proximity alarm. The piercing wail stabbed the back of her head like an ice pick, causing the girl to recoil in pain. She wasn’t alone in her agony. Another Exile popped out from the shelter, clutching the side of her helmeted head. Once they’d gained enough separation, the noise halted. Hayley stared at the female Exile, the same one that had been watching her all day.

"Get out of there!" Hayley raged, making a pushing off gesture with her hands at the other Exile, who simply stood with her arms spread over the shelter. "You stupid bitch, move!"

The other woman didn’t budge. Even as Hayley tried to push her away by getting too close again, the other Exile held her ground, supporting herself on the barrels as she was battered by the screeching proximity alarm. For the young singer, it appeared as if she wasn’t going to win this battle of the wills, as she was forced back, quickly hitting her pain threshold.

The two stood there for several minutes, staring at each other through the blank, expressionless helmets. Eventually the woman lowered herself into the shelter, pulling the skid over the opening. "You stupid fucking cow," Hayley seethed. "Enjoy yourself now, because it’s just a matter of time before you have to go for maintenance."

Dropping down onto the grass, she wondered how people could be reduced so quickly to this kind of behavior; the kind of behavior she’d expect from small children and wild animals but not from a fully-grown mature human being. Had humanity not grown above this kind of petty nature, the ‘only the strong survive’ kind of mentality that may have worked well in places like ancient Sparta but had no place in modern society? Apparently it hadn’t. It only took a few months of living in isolation to draw that kind of behavior back, and reduce once intelligent, sophisticated people into mindless, thoughtless brutes. After sitting there for several hours, watching and waiting for the woman’s maintenance cycle, Hayley realized she was just allowing herself to fall into the same trap. She was allowing herself be reduced to a scavenger – a vulture feeding off the remains of other animal’s prey. No, she thought to herself finally, I’m not going to be like that. Nevertheless, she waited there and eventually the woman did get up. She noticed Hayley still there, and seemed to pause for a moment to stare at her, knowing she’d take the opportunity to retake her shelter the moment she was gone. Hayley saw that the woman was wincing noticeably- perhaps she was already overdue. Consigned to the fact that she had no choice but to abandon the shelter, the female Exile walked off. When she returned nearly half an hour later, Hayley was still there, standing outside of the shelter. The woman stopped a few meters just outside of range, and stared at Hayley. She’d deliberately waited for the woman to return so she could witness her completely tear down the makeshift structure. Hayley knocked down the drums, threw the metal sections of the roof and stomped on the soggy wooden pallet until it was fractured. She then grabbed a long wooden splinter with a nail sticking out of it and tore into the mattress until its stuffing was strewn about and rolling through the wind.

With the destruction of her shelter complete, Hayley looked back at the woman who had her arms wrapped around herself and her head down. She wasn’t sure if the woman’s body language was one of shame or perhaps disappointment that the shelter she’d stolen was now in a pile. At any rate, it didn’t matter to Hayley. She’d gotten her point across---while she wouldn’t become a vulture, she would certainly exercise her right to destroy whatever it she created.

Stepping away from the remains, Hayley gestured at them with her arms, as if to invite the woman to have at them. "Enjoy your stay, bitch."

Finally, she turned her back to the other Exile and walked off. She took one last glance back, and saw that the woman had returned to the remains and was sitting atop what once was a mattress. Hayley just shook her head and kept walking.

A week passed since her altercation with the other Exile, and for the third time since being exiled, Hayley had relocated. Though it’d originally been her intent to stay away from the arcologies, she naturally found herself being pulled closer to them. The parkettes scattered between the four towering structures seemed to be where most of the Exiles congregated, and for good reason. Artificial lakes and streams had been constructed in a number of the larger parkettes, and there was ample shade to be found amongst the trees. Further, the ground tended to be flatter, the grass shorter and the soil softer, making sleeping on the ground not nearly as uncomfortable as it was in the wilderness, where the ground was typically lumpy and filled with rocks.

The only problem Hayley discovered was actually finding a place to settle down in. There were simply too many Exiles per square meter of real estate for the most part. Fortunately, the largest park located in a square of land between the New Athens and New Constantinople arcologies proved to the most hospitable. With enough space to easily contain the entire Exile population, she found she had considerable freedom of movement in the park, and access to five maintenance bays, all within running distance of each other. She’d taken up residence (if it could be called that) near the large pond that started in the northeast corner of the park, feeding a stream that wound all the way down to a smaller pond in the southwest corner. With the trees above her, the calm, mirror-like water stretching out around her and blue skies above, she actually found the area to be quite serene. She only wished she could truly experience the full beautify of the scenery, and not be forced to look at it through her ocular devices’ dull color palette.

Her first night in the park, Hayley tried something different. Sliding herself along the muddy shoreline, she placed her body from the neck down in the water. It was her first time submerging herself in liquid since she’d been exiled. As expected, it offered no sensation, not even a temperature different. Aside from a slight pressure increase on her body, she never would have known she was even in water. But that was what she was hoping for. She was hoping to sleep with her body partially submerged. The soil along the shore was soft and wet, and was quite comfortable as she nestled into it. The water helped to alleviate some of the pressure off the small of her back and buttocks. All in all, she found the experience to be pleasant, and awoke the next day without any of the usual stiffness she’d become accustomed to after a month and a half of sleeping outdoors. After awhile, she began digging deep trenches into the soil just beneath the water, where she could lie down in and allow the water to come right up to her chin. Her sleeping had become an almost exquisite experience. The gentle rocking motion of the water felt great after a long day, and even though her body temperature never rose or fell, she could almost imagine the cooling sensation of the water on her skin as she laid there.

She continued to test the water as it were. She tried swimming. It was an unusual experience with the helmet, but not a difficult one. She found she could swim with ease in the suit, and the helmet not only provided buoyancy, but also oxygen. She’d even taken to having walks under water. The helmet’s built-in re-breather provided for nearly 20 minutes of usable oxygen in a deoxygenated environment. While she certainly couldn’t keep her head underwater indefinitely, a quick pop up above the surface was all the helmet needed to dispel the built-up carbon dioxide and draw in fresh air molecules. Not coming up for air could easily result in CO2 poisoning. Fortunately, Warden proved its use in a positive way by alerting Hayley whenever she was nearing CO2 saturation.

Once more Hayley found she was running the risk of having things become almost tolerable in an intolerable situation. She was enjoying living in the park, and sleeping in the water. The other Exiles in the area played nice, giving her her space. And, there were enough regular people around that things almost did feel normal for a change. During the day, Hayley got into the habit of puttering around the many paths that crisscrossed through the parkette. She watched people go by, carrying on with their lives, talking, laughing, loving...all the things normal people did. One afternoon she noticed a family having a picnic. She found herself watching them from afar, envious of them for what they had. The sight of real food being put onto plates and passed around made her realize how much she’d missed eating. Just the sensation of having something solid in her mouth, being able to chew something, to taste something, to have her saliva glands ache in anticipation for something sweet. For over a month now she’d tasted nothing, smelled nothing, and felt nothing in her mouth except for the tightly formed plastic sheath that coated the upper and lower parts of her mouth and much of her esophagus. She could just barely push her tongue up against the inner wall of the slipper coating, allowing it to touch the roof of her mouth. She occasionally found herself doing that just so she could sense there being something in her mouth. Often she would grind her teeth against the plastic layer, simulating chewing as much as she could, though unable to open or move her jaw around much.

After several minutes of staring at the family, Hayley picked up the presence of other Exiles doing the same as her. Many of them however didn’t even attempt to hide the fact that they were looking, some even sitting just a few feet away, staring at the young children as they merrily ate their sandwiches and ice cream treats.

Hayley found she was actually getting annoyed...not with the family, but with herself and the other Exiles. This was tantamount to voyeurism she thought. There was no reason those people didn’t deserve to have a little privacy without a bunch of black latex wearing convicts leering at them. Disgusted with herself for being among the voyeurs, she continued down the paved path, managing to get perhaps a hundred meters when she came upon a rather unusual sight. A number of Exiles, most of them young given their undeveloped physiques, had managed to get their hands on ball and were playing some variation of kickball-dodgeball. Hayley stopped walking and watched the game unfold. There were four playing in the field, including a pitcher, two in the outfield and one positioned a few feet behind the kicker, the kicker and his two teammates. Instead of rolling the ball at the kicker, the pitcher threw it at him. The kicker then kneed, punted, head-butted or even belly-bounced the ball into play. The kicker then had to run around three bases and get home while the fielders attempted to tag him with the ball. If the kicker made it home, then his or her team scored a point. The group of Exiles were apparently having a good time despite the limitations in how close they could get to one another, which was only about 15 feet. Fortunately, the rules of the game seemed designed around that restriction and did seem to effect the game in any way.

A number of other Exiles were seated around the field of play and watched, obviously happy for the diversion. Hayley had to admit she found the spectacle to be quite amusing, and decided to go in for a closer look. As the teams changed sides, with the smaller team now in the field, one of the male Exiles noticed her crossing the field and stopped to look at her. She abruptly came to a stop, thinking for a moment that this might be another one of those territorial things. However, the Exile waved her forward then pointed to the outfield and gave her a quizzical shrug.

Was he asking if she wanted to play? She would have killed for the chance to do something fun. She shrugged in response, unsure of what the question was. He pressed his hands together and made as if he were begging before again pointing toward the outfield. That was it...he was inviting her to play. Smiling beneath her dark opaque helmet, she nodded, eliciting a thumbs-up from the Exile.

Running over to the outfield, she noticed many of the spectator Exiles clapping their hands. This must have been a regular function for them or something- perhaps a weekly event that they all enjoyed. She hadn’t explored much of the park since coming to it; perhaps they played even more frequently.

Standing in the outfield, she watched as the female pitcher wound up and threw the ball at the other Exile’s midsection. With a karate-like kick, he smashed the multi-colored rubber sphere over the pitcher’s head, dumping it into right field where the other outfielder quickly scooped up the ball in mid stride then whipped it at the runner with a full power swing. The ball hit the runner in the square of the back just as he rounded second base. One out!

Hayley grinned, clapping her hands at her fellow outfielder. The male gave her a rather aristocratic bow of his upper body in reply. She couldn’t help but chuckle. It felt good to have a little fun finally, to smile and enjoy a game with other people. She felt almost human again.

The next kicker came up to the plate and the pitcher delivered, throwing a high pitch that the kicker took in the head, head-butting the ball right back at the pitcher. She grabbed it and held back her throw until the kicker had cleared first base, obviously not wanting to risk missing and having the ball aired into the field where the spectators were sitting. Once the runner had passed the first base and was heading to second, she fired the ball. The runner deftly ducked away from the oncoming sphere, causing it to bounce into right field. The right fielder scooped it up as the runner cornered second base. Realizing he was out of range of an effective throw, the fielder tossed the ball to Hayley.

She’d almost been unprepared for the relay handoff. She managed to catch the ball in her chest, bobbled it while she tried to get a grip and then hurled it at the base runner. The ball caught his legs just as he hit third base.

"Woohoo!" Hayley hooted as a surge of joy filled her body. She looked around at her teammates, all of whom were clapping and waving their hands at her. She turned to her colleague in right field and mirrored his earlier bow. He threw his head back and his body started jiggling slightly, obviously from laughter.

Hayley couldn’t believe how good it felt to be doing something other than just brooding and agonizing over the dismal state of her life. Though she knew this didn’t change anything, that she was still only a mere month and a half into a three year sentence, the distraction was a welcome relief. After scoring the third out, letting only one runner in for a score, the teams switched positions again. Given she’d just joined the game, Hayley was given first kick. Taking mercy on her, the pitcher rolled the ball to her. With a fierce swing of her leg, she powered the ball toward third base and launched into a full sprint. As she vigorously pumped her arms and legs, she kept her eye on the left fielder who got to the ball just as she corner first base. He lined Hayley up as she ran toward second, paused for a moment as she drew near then released the ball with a mighty side-arm throw. The former singer was quite surprised with both the thrower’s accuracy and power, and was forced to slide into second, the ball shooting over her head by less than a foot.

Scrambling to her feet as the pitcher was forced to scurry for the ball, Hayley made it around second and was coming around third by the time the pitcher had tracked the ball down. He tossed it over to the catcher who was in a much better position to get Hayley out. The catcher picked the ball out of the air in mid jump and flung it toward the home plate ahead of Hayley, smacking her in the side of the head just as she crossed.

Though there were no umpires to call outs, Hayley could tell by the body language of her teammates and the fist pumps of the other team that she was considered out at the plate. She didn’t care though. She was just enjoying the game. Smacking her hands together in a feign show of frustration, she took a seat in the grass and watched her teammates take their turns.

The game lasted what had to be well over four hours. She wasn’t sure if any score was being kept at all; it didn’t really seem important to the players or the onlookers. They were all just enjoying the game. When a player dropped out because he or she had to go for maintenance, a time out was called. In lieu of that, one of the Exiles from the crowd would occasionally come on in relief.

By early evening, the players had grown tired and the crowd had dispersed. As Hayley set off back to her spot near the pond, one of male members of her team ran a few meters in front of her and waved at her to stop. He pointed at her, made a kicking gesture and gave her two thumbs up. She guessed he meant the she played well. In acknowledgment, she gave a bow of her upper body. His head bobbed slightly, likely from chuckles. He waved two fingers at her, then gestured at his wrist as if to indicate time, then pointed back to the area of the park they’d just come from. She guessed they played every two days, and he was inviting her back. She gave him a nod and held up two fingers and then a thumbs up. He seemed to understand, and clapped his hands together before waving and running off.

Wow...my first friend. She thought to herself, a smile blossoming on her firmly encased lips. Maybe things don’t have to be so lonely if I don’t let them.

Feeling a warmness in her heart, she scooted back off to her pond. There were a few Exile stragglers nearby, but non paid much attention to her as she dug herself a new trench just along the shoreline beneath the water. Once it was complete, she laid herself down in it, letting the water come up to her chin as she liked it. She’d had quite a work out that afternoon, and was fatigued. Though the sun was still just over the horizon, Hayley nevertheless closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift to sleep.

It turned out to be the best sleep she’d had since arriving, despite it being broken up by her maintenance reminder alert.